Today is the last day of my two month maternity leave. Monday will be the first time I’ve worked all year. I am going to miss being at home. Besides the time with my kids, I am going to miss the Kardashians, eating cereal for lunch, walking for hours with Quinn and to meet Syd on her way home from school, and the play yard at McDonalds when it was too cold or rainy to go to the park with Easton.
The hardest thing I do each day is wake up. I don’t hate mornings, I hate waking up. If I were a night owl and woke up at noon, that would still be awful. For me, there is no difference between one hour of sleep and fifteen. I always feel sleep deprived until I am fully awake. Jeff needs two hours in the morning of coffee and the Today show to get ready for the day. I need thirty minutes. I’d rather get that extra fifteen minutes of sleep than a cup of coffee or a real breakfast. I’ve matured a little- at least I quit doing my makeup in the car and give myself time to shower, shave and blow-dry my hair.
Those thirty-minutes-until-I-leave days are done for the next year. I will have to get up at 5 something to either pump and feed Quinn or feed her and pump, set out daily bottles to warm up, make my lunch and snacks for my three work pump sessions, shower, make up, hair, coffee- grab Syd and make sure she has all of her stuff together and leave by 6:45. Okay, I do hate mornings. This all would be much more tolerable at 8 or 9 AM. I admire morning people! Oh how I wish I could just wake up and not sleep in until I’m going to be late.
Last time I did this, I was a full time student. I’ve replaced classes with couponing, exercise and book writing. I am going to have to figure out how to fit in a daily walk/jog and marathon training. With not working and no school, I actually get some stuff done- go figure. I have over forty ounces of frozen milk freedom, ten ounces in the fridge and am hoping to stay ahead of my baby’s demand. If my plate isn’t overflowing, I become complacent. I finished the Bible (old and new testaments), 80% through Moby Dick, started writing my breast feeding book, ate four boxes of Girl Scout cookies and watched every E! reality show out there. I’m especially fond of Ice and Coco and Khloe and Lamar. Yes, I have a problem!
It’ll be good to be back at work, but hard not knowing Q’s every move for the day. I can count how many hours I’ve been away from her. It has been amazing hanging out with Easton during the days and watching him go from throwing Angry Bird plushies at Quinnlee’s head to telling me to feed her when she cries and kissing her head. I’ve enjoyed walking Sydney home from school and taking everyone to the park.
I have a great job, great coworkers and a lovely boss. I was ready to go back to work with my first two babies. I am not ready this time. I want to be home with and for all of my children. But, I enjoy a good paycheck and great insurance. Maybe my book will be a giant success and will afford me the luxuries of being a full time writer and home with the children. Maybe I could blog for a living. Maybe Jeff will book a huge movie and becomes a full time actor. I’d say maybe we’d win the lotto, but you have to play to win.